The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Randomize
