i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
