the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
