The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
