I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
