You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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