somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
