all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think your dad took our porno
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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