census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
