Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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