I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize