That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
