Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
