we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize