I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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