whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
