Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
