I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
