i don't like sucking hair
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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