Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
