Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
where are my eyebrows?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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