the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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