hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize