Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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