Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You are a booty call, not a friend.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
