that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize