That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
