All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
