you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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