My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I skipped work to stalk him.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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