Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
