Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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