You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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