Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
