yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
