I think I just saw someone hide a body.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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