Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
