Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
