Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
