He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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