Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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