I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
