and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
