I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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