Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
