this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
