Buhtt sex?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
