do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
