I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
