Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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