If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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