cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
