Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
