Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
