the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
