She's JV to your varsity
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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