Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
