I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize