oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
