Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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