Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
