Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Randomize
