I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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