drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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