If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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