Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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