I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
