do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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