it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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