i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
