If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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