how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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