don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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